When we marry, we vow to love, honor, and cherish one another, in sickness and in health, for better or worse. Those words are easy to say when life is good, but they take on a much deeper meaning when illness enters the picture.
Asking for help, or accepting it, does not go against those vows. In fact, it may be one of the truest ways to uphold them.
Why Dementia Care Is Different From Other Medical Needs
If our spouse needed dental work, we would seek out the best dentist. If they needed surgery, we’d research the most skilled specialist we could find. So why, when a loved
one is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia, do so many of us feel we must handle everything ourselves?
It’s true, no one will love your spouse as deeply as you do. And no one else will do things exactly the way you would. But there is more than one way to provide excellent
care. What matters most is the outcome: that your loved one is safe, supported, and surrounded by compassion.
Partnering With Professional Dementia Caregivers
Most caregivers were never taught how to care for someone living with dementia. It’s not something we prepare for, it’s something that arrives suddenly, changing everything.
Partnering with professionals who understand dementia care doesn’t mean stepping back; it means sharing the load. It creates space for you to rest, grieve, and adapt to a
“new normal.”
The Physical and Emotional Toll of Caregiving
Caring for someone you love can take a tremendous physical and emotional toll. Many caregivers find their own health suffering in the process. If the roles were reversed — if
you were the one needing care — how would you want it handled? Nearly every spouse I’ve spoken with answers the same way: “I’d want my partner to get help.”
Asking for Help Honors Your Vow to Love
Asking for help is not weakness; it’s strength. It’s love in action. Finding the right care and support honors your vows, the promise to care for one another, no matter what life
brings.
Getting Started: How to Ask for Help and Organize Care
If you’re unsure where to begin, here are a few first steps that can make the process feel less overwhelming:
- Start the conversation early.
Talk openly with family members, trusted friends, or your faith community about your loved one’s needs and your own limits. - Reach out for professional guidance.
Contact organizations like Mental Health America of the MidSouth for resource referrals and emotional support. - Build a care team.
Make a list of tasks that can be shared, from transportation and medication management to companionship or meal prep, and invite others to
take specific roles. - Consider respite care.
Even short breaks can protect your health and help you return to caregiving with renewed patience and strength. - Prioritize your well-being.
Schedule time for your own medical appointments, hobbies, and social connections. Caring for yourself is caring for your loved one.
